Paul and I just took these two out of the oven. The Fort Collins house smells like apple crumb and peach strawberry wrapped up in butter pastry. They are for an all-church gathering tonight, a dessert potluck followed by a town hall-style meeting where the congregation will get to practice listening and talking honestly about hard stuff. They’ll probably need patience and maybe even some of the forgiveness we’ve been talking about all through Lent.
I’ve been feeling a little bit like this these days — surrounded by so much sweetness on so many levels, while doing some sticky, risky inner business. Turns out no one can put pressure on me like I can put on myself. Turns out, left to my own devices, I will cower before the inner voice demanding I immediately become THE perfect
studentwifehomesteadermentorpedestrianhousekeeperdriverneighborfriendfamilymermeberchristianperson.
Turns out, trying to keep up with all the requirements I put on myself is really exhausting. Yet it is also highly addictive, so about the time I think I’ve “given up” trying to keep my own life under control, I find another area that needs just a little bit of fixing. Then another. And another. Until I’m flattened and overwhelmed, angry and ashamed.
Hence the sticky, risky inner business: deep breath, honest assessment, good cry, grace and good humor. Begin again.
Homemade sweets and challenging conversations. Beautiful life and inner crud. Just more of the fits and starts of this season. The mountain weather plays along, dropping snow one day and warming up to 65 sunny degrees the next. The only way to go forward is to commit to the transition, the ups and downs. The only way through is to welcome the mud.
And then there’s our house in Westcliffe, still its own glorious mess, still in the process of being reclaimed as Home. The last few days we spent down there, we crossed the point of no return in the kitchen. We don’t know how it’s going to turn out, but we’re committed to finding out!
How about you? What are the contrasts in your life these days? Where is Spring breaking in, all messy and pretty?
The Pie Pioneers 
Yeah. The only way through is to welcome the mud. Indeed. There is a recurring theme in this life of mine…Thank you for reminding me again of the tender weaving of brokenness and beauty. This is lovely.
And I want to learn to tell video stories like this.